Thank God It's Spring!!!

This seems like it has been the longest winter. Last winter wasn't so very hot, what with Aged Mother crashing with influenza just before Christmas and then picking up Norwalk virus on her first outing out in January.
This season kicked off with an aunt coming down with pneumonia just before Christmas, and succumbing to it rapidly. Great sadness just before the holiday. Day after Christmas Beloved Sister is hospitalized until New Year's Eve with complications from a condition that later turns out to be medication-induced liver toxicity. My mom has eyelid surgery, my sis and niece took her to that one. Less than a week later, I get a call from my niece that my dad has fallen. Yes, he did break his hip and yes, he did need surgery. The night of his surgery, his sister was admitted, so I headed up to the ICU to discover it was very, very serious. I was very grateful that I had dialed her number so he could say goodnight to her- it was the last time he spoke with her. Auntie died exactly four weeks to the day that my first aunt died. Extremely sad and traumatic for all her family.
During the surgery crisis, we had got sister to a specialist who confirmed my suspicion that her problem was caused by a medication she was on for many years. Reversing the damage will take months. In the meantime, she gets sicker, and is admitted with serious complications of her liver problem- pulmonary thrombi, and lots of them. Aged mother visits dad and passes out in the bathroom, prompting a hospital admission for a cardiac workup. And my cousin is admitted with pneumonia to the same ICU bed Auntie had been in previously. Three in one hospital and one in the next city over. It was stress in the nth degree, yet also comically coincidental. Example; when my cousin (who is mentally handicapped) was transferred from ICU to the rehab unit, my middle sister was there, and helped her settle in and answered staff questions until her family/caregivers got there.
And then my sister became really, really ill, and I dragged her to a major teaching hospital where she was admitted and tortured for two weeks while I prayed the specialist of our dreams would be called in on her case. That still may happen- she did get a call from him, but her experience there left much to be desired.
And just about then, we had a major crisis at work- two people out on extended leaves put me at the wheel temporarily. I'd like to think I rose to the challenge but I am so exhausted i can't really tell.

The good and positive things that came out of all of this: my extended family proves once more that both grief and laughter are best shared in solidarity. My cousins are brave, compassionate, strong, generous and damn nice to be around. When Cousin ended up in the same rehab floor as Dad, there was much visiting up and down the hall, and there was always company for the invalids. Dad got to find out how funny my cousins' kids are, and my kids brought ice creams up the hall for my cousin.
I found out exactly how good the next generation is at handling crises and chronic demands. When Mom collapsed, I was at work; I dialed cells, and got fast responses. My kids and my niece flew in and kept the information flowing, one stayed with my dad and kept him calm. My daughter stayed over multiple nights when my mom and dad got discharged. My niece volunteered to be the one to discharge Dad so I could rest, and her husband visited with him so the rest of the family could go to wakes. My daughter minded the little ones so that my nephew could visit, and they made artworks that had pride of place on his bulletin board. My son's girlfriend brought hot tea to my dad on her way to school (part of the hospital is her grad school program) when he complained that his tea was lukewarm every day. My niece took him to follow-ups. My nephew brought the kids up to see him (the baby thinks the walker is like a cage and enjoys sitting beneath it..)
We got the parents moved to the first floor, eliminating multiple daily trips up the stairs. We'd like this to become permanent, but we'll see.
My sister is stable for now. The specialist may see her sometime soon. This is good, in a tentative way.
My schedule was tough but I think 90% of the time I was truly needed, I was off or could trade shifts. This is a huge blessing.
The last good thing was that my son proposed to his girlfriend. We adore her. We are ecstatic.
So there were some blessings mixed in with all the craziness.

And now, we are in spring.
So far, my beloved sister-in-law (my favourite ex) fell and broke her hip while skiing- she is fortunately recovering nicely and I will visit in a few weeks.
My godmother passed away, rather quickly and not expectedly, but had a peaceful passing. We buried her today.
A dear friend lost her mom yesterday. A peaceful passing, surrounded by family and faith, after a long and hard illness. We'll attend her memorial this weekend.

I have decided that some respite is in order.
A trip is in the works, and I will post on that later.
Cherished readers, do you agree that I am ready to welcome spring in my heart? The wicked winter has not let go of my loved ones yet, but there is hope. After all, the nine-foot pile of snow Plow Guy lovingly shoved into a corner of my driveway has been replaced by a puddle on the dirt, and my first daffodils bravely poked their heads above last fall's leaf mulch blanket.
I was inspired to pick up the trash in my yard and pull up some of the tall dead stalks remaining from my Russian sage and catmint and mallow on a lovely warm April day.

And that is how I threw out my back...

Christmas

We do our celebration on Christmas Eve. Our family has gotten together since 1969 and celebrated on Christmas Eve with dinner, gifts, and then midnight Mass. Over the years as my mom got debilitated with knee replacements, we switched from celebrating at her house to taking turns at the three sisters' homes, hosting the dinner. Last year was my turn, and one sister opted out with her family; my mom's serious illness kept my parents from joining us. This year should have been the eldest sister's turn, but her illness precluded it, and I announced I would host the do. My aunt suggested having it back at my parents' and so my daughter and I ran the show from there. We were most grateful that my sister made it despite serious illness, and she pulled it together to see her grandchildren. My cousin and his wife joined us, for which we were extra grateful since thy had just had a death in the family.
Kate did the lions' share by showing up at 8AM (and feeding her grandparents a Dunkins Croissandwich treat) and plunking in the turkey. She did all the veggies up and any odd jobs. I got there for 1 pm and we made the stuffing and finished all the cooking. The vegetarian cooked the turkey; the celiac made the stuffing. The boys (who had 100 lbs of potatoes as a paternal gift) made the mashed praetes. Kate had made pies and candies; we had other folks bring desserts, and Mom & Kate picked up a gorgeous strawberry shortcake Mom ordered.
Rich and Corey and the kids came: Kay and Jordyn were highly entertained reading the tags on all the gifts now that they can read. The PeeWee Christmas Special was duly played; KD Lang in a dress was the highlight of the evening. Richie grabbed a toy ruler which he mistook for a phone and it was passed thru all the family for a conversation with Santa and handed back to him. Dan advised Santa to skip presents for the children and bring monkeys instead; the monkey theme is now central in their play. The dinner was good: turkey and ham, veggies of all kinds, two kinds of stuffing. The presents were fun; books and dvd's and clothes and gift cards. I must say that I outdid myself with the girls; a dress-up box full of costumes for each child. My personal amazing gift was a Roomba; can't wait to get it going and see the kitties' reaction.
We sent dessert home with the kids since they had to get back to the Cape, but we did have time for crackers. Word to the wise; a pill case is not the same as a yoyo.
We were all pretty exhausted by Christmas: four snowstorms in 7 days in addition to all the holiday work made it hectic. Three of my four stayed over for Christmas. I woke early for Mass and made it in time. We had the usual big breakfast. I burnt the first batch of bacon and was told by #4 that Mommy ruined Christmas. Then he burnt the toast and we were even. We did our presents, and they left at 4 for their paternal side. I headed to my sister's with a Christmas plate for Ted, then down to my parents for a cup of tea.
I had the day after off from work but spent it at the hospital with my sis, who was so ill she was admitted. It made me even more grateful that we had such a good holiday all together. The best part was spending time with the kids and being with my own kids in the morning. The best present is being together!

Three Strikes of Christmas!

This was a nice Christmas, but a weird Christmas. Everything bad always happens in threes. Kate started it all by moving to Hawaii and not being able to come home for Christmas. That was very upsetting to me even tho’ I got to spend Thanksgiving with her. I decided to make up for missing her by making her a stocking and mailing it in time for the holiday. Now, I am very craftsy, and had made a felt stocking for each child as it came along, but I didn’t want to ship her 1979 stocking out to the Pacific. So off to the store to fetch felt- of course, they are all sold out of red, and limited in colors. I ended up making a green stocking, and on it I put a volcano, a palm tree and the sea with little fishes- all the things we enjoyed together on my visit. I found some paper ribbon that made excellent palm leaves and ocean. I laughed out loud and took a picture when I was done. I also made her a huge felt tree to hang on her door, and glued ornaments and fake lights on it. I filled her sock with goofy stuff- I went on the theme of sight, sound, smell and taste of Christmas at home and so pine potpourri from the Christmas Tree Shop, Hebert Candy Mansion fudge, candy canes, a bracelet with jingle bells, a photo of the two of us all got stuffed in with a few gift cards. I hope to hell she got it in time- the post office said she should but their supplies got held up due to blizzards canceling planes.

We have our celebration on Christmas Eve: it used to be at my parents’ until my mom had knee surgery & we switched to rotating every year at the three daughters’ houses. My widowed Aunt Mae and her son always spent the Eve with us as well.
My dad requested that we have dinner really really early; his health is not great and he tires easily (the “sundowning effect” it’s called in geriatrics). It being my turn to host our family on Christmas Eve, I emailed the family our dinner time. One of my sisters and her family elected not to come; she had said last year she wasn’t coming, so her kids worked on Christmas Eve and they stayed home. Strike two!
Then my mom got really sick- I called one morning and my sister Sue was there. She said they needed to get Mom to the ER, so I hopped in my car, but by the time I pulled up she had called an ambulance. My mom was ashen grey and couldn’t catch her breath, never mind walk. The ER ran a bunch of tests and they figured it was flu (she DID get her shot), so they planned to send her home til they saw her walk to the bathroom for a urine specimen- it took half an hour to get her to the bathroom and she was so sick when she got there we had to get her right back on oxygen. They kept her four days- her culture was positive for a strain of flu that was not in the shot, so I suspect she picked it up at work in the Wang Center (damn those Rockettes!). It took me and Buck, a wheelchair and a walker to get her home- she refused to go to rehab and she really did think she was coming to my house. I put my foot down and said no- and my dad said he was staying home with her. I think he was really relieved because he gets so nervous going anywhere. Strike Three!
We all went in on Christmas Day to see them.

But I have never had a Christmas holiday dinner without my parents, all my kids, and my sisters and their kids before.
:( My family is more important to me than anything, but it just didn't happen for me the way we are used to. SO- we made the best possible Christmas we could, and enjoyed the loved ones who were there with us.